The January checklist

From the usual wasteland of January releases we have this sparkling specimen, featuring the typical warning signs:

- a PG-13 rating
- a spooky moppet child
- an overqualified actor collecting a paycheck
- the trailer credit "From Producer Michael Bay"

Oh, and a poster which gives you the real/only reason to ever waste 87 minutes of your life:

Insightful marketing has saved us all the time. And in 6 months we can just check out the Blu-Ray screen captures at Egotastic and never have to bother with the film itself again.

Docile moviegoing public: Stop paying money to be insulted.

Studio/corporate skeezes: If you committee-meeting a film to death, you deserve to have it stolen and made available for free on Bittorrent.

That is all.